Couples therapy – when is it worth choosing?

A partnership is a journey full of challenges and joy, which sometimes requires external support. Couples therapy, although still treated by some as a last resort, is becoming an increasingly popular tool in caring for the health of relationships. Today we will explore the issue of couples therapy, analyzing when it is worth deciding on it and what benefits it can bring to people involved in a relationship.

Becoming aware of relationship problems is the first step in working on your relationship. These problems can be diverse: from communication problems and conflicts to lack of trust or differences in values and expectations. A couples therapist helps partners identify these problems through the use of various techniques, including: interview or behavioral observations.

It is also crucial to understand the deeper causes of problems, which often date back to past experiences or unexpressed needs and expectations. Recognizing problems is the foundation for further therapeutic work, enabling the effective development of strategies to solve and improve the health of the relationship.

Couples therapy can bring a number of benefits, both for the partnership relationship and for the individual development of each partner. The most important ones include:

• better communication in a relationship – will enable you to express your needs, emotions and expectations in an honest and effective way,
• conflict resolution – therapy will allow you to learn effective conflict resolution techniques, which will reduce tensions and better understand the differences between partners,
• rebuilding trust – in the case of problems related to trust or betrayal, therapy can help rebuild trust and restore stability in the relationship,
• strengthening the emotional bond – through therapy you can deepen the emotional bond between partners, which leads to greater relationship satisfaction and greater resistance to adversity,
• preventing the escalation of problems – regular therapy sessions can help identify and solve problems at an early stage, preventing them from escalating and deepening difficulties in the relationship,
• personal development – psychotherapy for couples can also bring individual benefits, such as a better understanding of one’s own needs and emotions and the development of skills in coping with difficulties.

Couples psychotherapy may be a good solution when there are visible signs of crisis in both spouses or one of them. These signs include feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy, increased levels of anxiety, constant frustration, and an inability to cope with the situation.

If you want to start couples therapy, first of all, both parties must be properly motivated to make efforts to achieve a positive change in their mutual relationships. Indications for joint therapy include:

• trust problems in a relationship resulting from some past situations,
• jealousy associated with control, suspicion and restriction of freedom,
• domination of one partner combined with lowering the value of the other, passive partner,
• overprotection of one partner coexisting with emotional dependence of the other,
• mutual antagonism, self-blame and mutual emotional dependence.

These relationship problems can be worked through with the help of therapy.

Every couple always has the right to make an appointment with a therapist and make the first visit, but couples therapy will not always be offered to them, even if both spouses or partners give the impression that they are very interested in taking it and achieving a positive change in their relationship.

Couples therapy is not provided when:

• there is violence between partners,
• one or both partners have a mental illness or addiction,
• one or both partners are in dual relationships and are unable to give up either,
• one or both partners have already decided to divorce (regardless of whether the petition has already been filed in court or not yet).

Working on the relationship is possible when partners strive to improve their relationships, communicate better and solve problems more effectively. Fearing the breakdown of their relationship, they want to prevent difficulties from growing and are interested in rebuilding good relationships. Couples therapy may also be the last resort when partners still want to try to communicate before they make the final decision to break up.

Bibliography:

1. Wolska M., Wskazania i przeciwwskazania do terapii małżeńskiej/terapii par, Psychoterapia, nr 4/2010, s. 73-81.