The title of this article may be surprising to some people, because excessive sexuality, showing off sex or a very high libido can be a common problem in a relationship if one partner is not “matched” sexually to the other partner and this is a common obstacle in a relationship. On the other hand, our society is becoming more and more courageous and willing to experiment, treating excessive sexual excitability, frequent desire for sex as an advantage rather than a disadvantage. There are people who are very sexual by nature, love sex, like to have it, have it often, have no complexes in this area. On the other hand, excessive desire for sex and an inflated libido can result from low self-esteem. Those who have not worked through problems from childhood or adolescence or are struggling with problems in adulthood often treat sex quite instrumentally. Due to low self-esteem and deficits. Age also plays a significant role here. As we age, we start to worry about our appearance and poorer physical fitness. Men worry about the size of their penis and its weaker stiffness during erection, and women struggle with stretch marks or sagging skin.
Hypersexuality – what does it actually mean?
Constant desire for sex, masturbation, changing sexual partners, frequent visits to swingers clubs and constant thinking about sex, is this already an addiction? In a sense, yes, because when the other person with whom we create a relationship ceases to be important to us and we constantly cheat on them and, worse, fantasize about other people during sex, this is already a form of addiction. So let’s cite the definitions of hypersexuality. Hypersexuality, in other words hyperlibidemia, is a symptom of sexual dysfunction, which is characterized by an excessive, continuous and persistent, ultimately debilitating need to engage in sexual intercourse and, as a result, a condition that obscures other needs and makes it difficult to function in normal life. A strong drive is often a serious, life-threatening difficulty in adolescence, especially if too young an age limits its satisfaction. An excessive sexual drive, which is combined with searching for new partners and therefore attempting to have sexual intercourse regardless of the circumstances, is a sexual addiction. For many people who find themselves in such a situation, it is a desire to experience something incredible, they risk that someone may see them and therefore achieve satisfaction and sexual pleasure through excessive tension and fear. Such situations make these people strive to obtain confirmation of their own ability.
When should you see a sexologist?
You should see a sexologist when you treat your behaviors as a problem and they are bothersome to you and your loved ones. In reality, it is not the type of behavior (e.g. masturbation or watching pornography) that is the basic condition for assessing them as related to hypersexuality, but their function – they serve to regulate emotions unrelated to sexual needs, compulsiveness, and what is more, the inability to control them, obsessiveness and their interference with other areas of life, including the possibility of building successful sexual relationships. For the person diagnosing such a patient, both the patient’s views on the nature of his or her sexual behaviors, including their compulsiveness, and the description of, for example, sexual activity in the last, specific period (e.g. during the week, month) are important. The assessment made by a sexologist or therapist will primarily concern the amount of these behaviors, their instrumental functions and the occurrence of addiction features. Therefore, it is worth seeing a sexologist if you see such behaviors in yourself and treat it as a problem, because such a visit will certainly not harm us and will help and make it easier for us to function in our lives.
Read more: What does the first visit to a sexologist look like?
Author: Karolina Sudzicka
Bibliography
Jakima, S., Muldner – Nieckowski, Ł., Bilejczyk, A.(2022). Hiperseksualność. Warszawa: PZWL Wydawnictwo Lekarskie.
Schnarch, D.(2018). Namiętne małżeństwo. Warszawa: Wydawnictwo Kropla, s- 99-102.
