You’ve met the man in your life, but instead of you, he consults your mother? Or maybe instead of walking together and going out into the city, she prefers constant visits to her mother? You could have come across the so-called mama’s boy, a man addicted to contact with his own parent! While this problem may not seem serious, it can even lead to the breakdown of the relationship in the long run. Is it possible to live with an adult man who values his mother’s opinion more than his partner? What is the reason for the unhealthy relationship between a man and his mother? Could being in a relationship with the mommy be successful? Can it be “cured”?
How do you recognize a mama's boy?
Mama’s boy is a man who feels a very strong, often pathological bond with his mother – he is addicted to her. He consults his mother on all his decisions, constantly consults her, and spends a lot of free time with her. Even if she leaves the family home and lives away from her mother, she still wants to spend as much time with her as possible, e.g. taking her for dinner to restaurants, shopping or even for a joint vacation, often with her partner.
A man who is a mama’s boy trusts his mother immensely and always values her opinion. A small request on her part can make her completely change her behavior or views on specific matters. It’s very hard to convince him to act against his mother. Under her influence, the mommy can give up his plans. Even if he already has an appointment with his partner, and his mother asks him to come to her immediately for no specific reason, he will likely change his plans.
A man who is dependent on his mother tends to be very little independent in his daily life. If he decides to live with his partner, very often he will not undertake any housework. An activity commonly known as typically female, such as washing, cleaning, cooking, will be completely alien to him, because his mother has done them all his life.
Why is a man dependent on his mother?
There is not one single reason a man might become a sissy. Often the root of the problem lies in the overprotective mother who has protected her son all her life, but this does not always have to be the case. Many sissies are men who lacked the authority of their father in life, e.g. their parents split up or the father simply spent little time at home. A mummy can also be a man raised by a mother who lacked love and poured all her affection over her son, expecting him to do the same in return.
Is it possible to live with a mama's boy?
The relationship with the mommy is not easy and requires a lot of patience. Many sissies disguise themselves well at the beginning of a relationship, and their unhealthy relationship with their mother only becomes apparent over time. If you notice that your man is a mama’s boy, don’t get mad at him – he is probably unaware of the toxic relationship he has with his mother. In fact, it is not possible to change behavior immediately. Only long-term work on the problem will allow him to change his life priorities and attitude.
If your partner is upset when you mention that he is a mama’s boy and he sees nothing wrong with his behavior, often the only solution is to consult a psychologist. It may take the form of a one-on-one meeting with a specialist or a couple therapy.
Dependence on the mother and therapy for couples
Couples therapy is often the most effective solution to the problem of an unhealthy partner-mother relationship. During the session with the psychologist, the couple work together to improve the quality of life together, as well as to establish compromises that are satisfactory for both parties. During the therapy, partners have the opportunity to talk about their feelings, expectations and plans for the future in the presence of a psychologist. This way, they get to know their needs better and realize their flaws, which are hard for their partner to accept.
During therapy for couples, partners work not only during psychological sessions, but also at home. The psychologist shows them what changes in everyday life they should introduce in order to get along better.