Sex therapy for couples is aimed at solving sexual problems in a relationship. The problems that couples report to the sexologist can be varied. Among the most common ones are: too little sexual intimacy between partners (or complete absence of it), dissatisfaction with the sexual life, low desire (low libido), lack of orgasm, pain during intercourse, erection problems, ejaculation problems, conflicts in a relationship that negatively affect intercourse, betrayal and problems associated with it, as well as difficulties in getting pregnant.
Read more: Sex Therapy for Couples
Where does the visit take place? How long does it take?
The visit takes place in the sexologist’s office. Sometimes it is one of the partners who comes first and only after his first meeting with sexologist it turns out that the problems discussed would be best resolved within the copules therapy. As a rule, however, the couple from the beginning come together for the therapy. Due to the fact that with three people talking to each other (therapist and two partners), discussing individual issues takes more time than when there is only one patient visiting, partner visits are slightly longer than in the case of individual patients. In our Clinic the visit lasts 70 minutes.
There is no single answer to how often sex therapy meetings should occur. First of all, it depends on the problem with which the couple struggles, but also on other factors, including the partners’ ability to find the right date that suits both of them. The frequency of visits is determined by a couple with a sexologist and can be flexibly changed as treatment progresses.
The first visit to the sexologist
Talking about sex is uncomfortable for many people. The more so talking about sex to a person you meet for the first time in your life. Fortunately, therapists understand these dilemmas and try to make patients feel comfortable and to make them gradually gain confidence during the conversation and feel that they can safely talk about their intimate problems. The patient’s sense of comfort and safety is crucial to the success of the therapy, so if a patient would feel uncomfortable with some element of this therapy, it is best if he tells the therapist about it immediately.
During the first visit, depending on the problem reported by the couple, the therapist may ask for exapmle about the history of the relationship between both partners, their health, their beliefs about sex or previous sexual experiences. Then, the therapist and the couple will diagnose the problem that the therapy should solve, and the therapist together with the couple will determine the goals and methods of therapy.
Course of the therapy
Each visit is about talking with the tharapist. There is no physical contact between patients or therapists during the visit. During the conversation, the therapist helps the couple learn more about their relationship, the roles that each of them plays in this relationship, and how it translates into their problems. After learning this, the couple can change the perception of the relationship and each other.
Better understanding of the relationship between the two is very important, but the direct aim of sex therapy for couples is to actually change the behavior and ways of interaction between partners. Therefore, depending on the problem reported, the therapist may give the couple “homework” to do. These can be, for example, exercises to strengthen intimacy or desire between partners. Then at the next meeting, the therapist will discuss with the couple how they felt during the exercise and what effects it had. Such exercises may take a variety of forms and may include, among others:
- experimenting in sex, e.g. role playing, using toys to stimulate desire, using other positions during intercourse,
- focusing on sensations, learning how touch the other person and to develop intimacy between two people,
- learning your own body and how it reacts,
- learning how to communicate in a relationship, regarding also the sexual sphere, how to tell your parnter what you like, what are your fantasies and what you expect in sex.
The last point is also important because two people who learn to communicate with each other, can then solve their problems independently, without the help of a therapist.
How to achieve success?
The effectiveness of sex therapy for couples depends primarily on the determination of the couple. If both partners put the effort into therapy, not only at meetings, but primarily outside of the sexologist’s office, and both partners implement the arrangements made jointly during the visits, then they can achieve their sexual goals.
Read more: How to improve your sex life?